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Ten People You’re Likely To Meet At Afrika Burns

Drive 500kms into the desert. Pitch a tent. Look around. With the right kind of eyes, you’ll notice, like we did this weekend, that just because you’re a zillion miles from anything, doesn’t mean you’re getting away. Rodriguez says it best: “I’ve played every type of gig there is to play now, and all of these people I play to are the same people.” Overtone does some stereotype-spotting at Afrika Burns 2008.

The ‘Haazit’ Guy
	Located: Middle chair, under tent canopy, cold beer in hand. Wearing: a pair of shorts and a five-o-clock shadow, even though it’s only 3.30pm. Sayings: “Come park off, chana” and “while you’re up, while you’re up…”

The American Volunteer Girl
	Located: In someone else’s tent, talking. Wearing: AIDS ribbon, lip ring and ‘Trade Not Aid’ shirt over the outline of Africa. Sayings: “We just got back from Ghana. Boy, it’s not what you’d think!” and “is this organic bill-tong?”

The Seeker
	Located: At the Chakra-balancing psy-chillout hydro-bong tent. Wearing: a sarong, ribbons and a pair of genuine Guccis. Sayings: “You see, we’re not all equal. Some of us are more awake and aware than others. Do you see? Are you with me?”

The Skittish Mum
	Located: At the home tent kitchen (for the duration of the festival). Wearing: an ankle-length floral dress, a walkie-talkie and a whistle. Sayings: “Honey, are you sure we have enough factor 80?”

The Liberated Twenty-Something
	Located: Cycling around the Binnekring. Wearing: nothing. Sayings: “It’s like, people are so trapped in their mindsets, you know. I mean, just, like, enjoy life, guy.”

The Serious Kak-Talker
	Located: Head of the campfire. Wearing: a speedo and a viking beer helmet. Sayings: “Ja, I got my leg cut off above the knee in a sawmill accident. Put some Zambuk on it. Fine now.”

The Space Cadet
	Located: cycling across the desert alone, or jumping around in front of the fire. Wearing: a white dress, glitter and holding a rainbow-coloured sunflower parasol. Sayings: “You’re sweet” and “Isn’t the space between the stars beautiful?”

‘Damn I’m Sexy’
	Located: Wherever everyone else is, and in whatever direction they’re facing. Wearing: six tatts and a pair of three-quarter shorts, drinking a warm Red Bull. Sayings: (to chicks only) “You should come hang out at our spot (wink).”

The Way-Too-Fucked Guy
	Located: On a beanbag next to the hard dance floor, head rolling. Wearing: a pair of fairy wings and one shoe. Sayings: “Minimal is just…fucking…it, bruuuu.”

The Rof Chick On Something
	Located: Between the speakers, scanning the crowd with eagle eyes. Or sleeping if it’s before 5pm. Wearing: a too-tight vest and camel-toe hotpants. Sayings: “Gimme a kiss. No a proper kiss” or “Get over yourself!”